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Speaking from the Heart is the essential communication skill that we can develop and use.  However, it is the most difficult to acquire.  This statement is true because of the many life skills and personal competencies that Speaking from the Heart encompasses.  They include deep listening, compassion, and empathy for all humans, deep personal awareness and knowledge, total transparency regarding motives and incentives, no ego satisfactions, to mention a few of the most important.  As may be quite obvious, even to master just two of these competencies—deep listening and personal awareness, for example—can take years of reflection, education, and practice.

Speaking from the Heart in communications is also comparable to Maslow’s self-actualization at a personal level because it is built on a foundation of desired needs and wants.  I believe it was Cicero, the Roman philosopher, who once wrote that all of us want to be heard and to be known.  Being heard and being known are strong drivers for our self-validation as human beings.  We also seek validation from other human beings because such understanding and acceptance appear to be critical to living a life of value as a human being.

“Seek first to understand and then to be understood” was also described as one of the seven habits of successful people, as outlined in a book by that title written by Stephen Covey back in the 1980s.  We must try to understand everyone whom we come in contact with, even if it is only at a fundamental level.  As the importance or significance of the relationship increases, the deeper the level of understanding required.  Simple understanding will ease the basic frictions of life that are always present.  However, deep understanding and acceptance will create a genuine bond between two human beings.

Speaking from the Heart also encompasses personal integrity in the sense that we must say what we mean and mean what we say.  This principle is easy to state but not as easy to execute daily.  I believe this is true because personal accountability and responsibility for individual actions and decisions have become less and less the norm in our society.

Finally, Speaking from the Heart has to be thought of as a learning journey and a life process.  There will always be room for improvement, so strive for excellence.