What is love? This question is, by far, one of the most frequent questions in any discussion about romantic relationships. Dr. Patricia Allen’s definition is one of my favorites, to wit: “The only way you know you love yourself or anyone else is by the contracts you are willing to make and keep.” Now, we must try and understand what Dr. Allen means by using the word “contract.” Put simply, I believe that Dr. Allen uses that word as a synonym for all the minor and major commitments we make in our daily life, either to ourselves, our friends, and our loved ones, but especially to a spouse or a significant other. Another way to interpret the word contract is from the perspective of being an honorable human being who keeps his or her word. Or, more explicitly, say what you mean and mean what you say.
I want to highlight three other perspectives on love that I believe are misunderstood in our society.
Love Is Not An Emotion
I do not believe that love is an emotion, at least not on a long-term basis, despite what we read in magazines like Cosmopolitan, Vanity Fair, and others that create the various narratives for women regarding fashion, lifestyle, and relationships. It may start as a grand emotion or passion, that is, being in love, but that quickly wanes after 90 or 120 days. Moreover, it has nothing to do with sexual intercourse, which is often styled as “making love.” That descriptor is entirely wrong, in my opinion. Having intercourse is having intercourse and nothing more.
Love Is A Verb, Not A Noun
Love is a verb and not a noun. What do I mean by this? To love another human being requires us to take actions that indicate that we love that person. Love is caring profoundly and deeply for another human being, and respecting that person as a unique human being. Love is meant to be unconditional, but human nature being what it is leaves us less than perfect in our understanding of love in action. Love is not telling someone you love them; rather, it is showing that love by loving and caring gestures and actions on a continuing basis. After all, words are only words, but actions speak volumes.
Love Is A Conscious Decision
Love is a conscious decision we make towards another human being. The decision to love is an ongoing one that is continually being repeated consciously.
A Simple Call to Action
Here is my call to action for all readers of this post, especially young men who want to become honorable gentlemen in our society and who are looking for a woman of value to love and cherish. Don’t just say you love someone, show them.
Outbound Link to The Asian Antiquarian: https://theasianantiquarian.com/ . Internal Link to Rules of the Road for Men: https://whitebeardwisdom.com/rules-of-the-road-for-men